4 words: hood of his car
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
