and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
