saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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