I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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