omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
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