he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
