Quick, to the slutcave!
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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