And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
