Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
we should paint friendship bongs
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize