Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
