'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Randomize
