So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
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