Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
