strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
