why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Panties = found
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
