Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
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