It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
