Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
