dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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