Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
