Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
