She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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