I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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