By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
