All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
What happened to fro yo and sex?
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
