This dress was meant to end up on your floor
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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