On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
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