Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Randomize