I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
i jhust puked up my retainher.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
i out mim tonsoeep
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