"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
