So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
