oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
