still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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