Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
