i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize