I accidentally burped into my bong.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
