Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize