You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
