He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
