also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
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