yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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