We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Randomize
