as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize