Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
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