She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
