If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
