Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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