Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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