i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
