ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Randomize
