Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
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