I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
The Olympian is in my bed
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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