I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
