Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
