i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
