a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize