This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
