Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Randomize
