Apparently you make a good broom.
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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