I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize