I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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