Your tits are I can't wait for
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Randomize
