I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Randomize
