Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
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