'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
