you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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