Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
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