i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
