I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Sober January is a disaster.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
