Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
