If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Randomize
