on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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