I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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