This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
you never un-have a 4some
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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