just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
