why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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