don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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